Choosing to have a doula at the birth of my second child was one of the best and most fulfilling decisions I ever made. Having grown up in the United States, I knew about doulas and the supportive role they can have during labor. However, because the Dutch system of maternal care and childbirth is quite different from that of the US, I thought that a doula might be redundant or unnecessary for me here. I was very wrong!

When I was pregnant with my first child, I planned to give birth at home and did the typical labor preparation courses (pregnancy gym and yoga). However, when the time came, my partner and I found ourselves in the hospital trying to manage a labor that wasn’t progressing. After a long 18 hours of contractions that included labor induction, I was sent for an emergency cesarean. Although my son was born healthy and my body recovered quickly, I felt that not enough was done either by us or the hospital staff to prevent a cesarean.

At week 39 of my 2nd pregnancy I came across a short article in the local newspaper about doulas. The article immediately caught my attention as I saw that Doula training had taken place for the first time in the Netherlands. Although it was very late in my pregnancy, I decided to contact Mirjam, one of the trainees who had set up a practice nearby. She understood that I desired the birth of my 2nd child to be vaginal and that although I was required to give birth in the hospital, I wanted the opportunity to manage the labor in different ways. We had several one-on-one discussions as my pregnancy went on and over 42 weeks.

Finally, when the contractions started, I was both relieved and excited. I asked Mirjam to join us after I was in labor for about 12 hours, a point at which the contractions were getting intense and we were having difficultly coming up with new ways to manage the pain. She responded with loving kindness and joined us first at our house and then at the hospital. At the hospital, we spent many hours working through my back labor, nausea, shaking legs, and my body which was dilating at about 1 cm in 2 hours. This long and difficult labor eventually led to an epidural. Although the epidural at first provided some relief, it was not enough to prevent an incredible pressure on my lower sacrum during the contractions. After 24 hrs of labor and 7 cm dilation, I was sent for my 2nd emergency cesarean.

Although I didn’t receive the natural birth I had intended, I was left with a completely different feeling than the one I had following the birth of my first child. Mirjam’s suggestions of different labor positions, insight into the phases of labor, interactions with the hospital staff, and even calm presence, made a tremendous difference. As a result, we were both confident and relax. Of course, we are now busy enjoying our lovely baby boy and the difficulty of his birth is nearly forgotten. What we will not forget, however, is the positive and reaffirming support of our doula.